It is not simply for family solidarity that children require both a mother and a father. Children require both the caring approach that most mothers bring to the family and a more demanding, real-world focused style that most fathers appear to have innately.

So, how do dads and mothers’ parenting methods differ, and how can we combine them in a family for the benefit of the kids as they grow up and prepare for life?

There is one significant caveat. Gender can lead to overgeneralization of these different approaches. Mothers might be more demanding and men can be more caring in some households. The trick, though, is to strike a balance between the various parenting styles in order to maximize the influence of the mix.

A Mother’s Style

Mothers are more likely to take on a caring role than fathers. They appear to be born with the capacity to discriminate when it comes to their offspring. They are frequently more attuned to a baby’s unique requirements than a father is, for example. A father just can not understand the emotional bond that exists between mother and kid.

In addition, moms prefer to communicate with their children more verbally. Women are more talkative than males, which contributes to this trend. This method tends to be seen in the parenthood when Mom provides more words of encouragement, expresses her hopes more clearly and “speaks” discipline concerns.

In general, mothers place the needs of their children ahead of themselves. She appears ‘prewired’ to self-sacrifice; perhaps this begins with a pregnancy when a mother has such a significant role to play in full-time physical care.

A Father’s Style

Fathers usually focus more on their children’s high expectations and encourage them to live with them regularly. They tend to concentrate less on making a kid feel comfortable or safe and more on challenging and preparing them to face the real world. A mother’s emotional link is frequently not duplicated in dads. For instance, it was quite difficult for my friend who has twin sons to tell them apart as newborns, their mother had absolutely no problem.

Fathers tend to be more direct and use less words, although they do not speak as much as mothers do. Moms can appear “too hard,” yet their toughness stems from helping children prepare for real life. They prefer to impose more swiftly penalties from a disciplinary perspective, and then speak later.

Dads tend, at least in a visible sense, to be less self-sacrificial. Their sacrifices tend to focus more on the overall family and less on the children themselves.

Combining the two family styles

According to the report, dads have an important role in their children’s lives. Fathers readily accept the importance of moms as well. So the main challenge is how to integrate the many responsibilities and parenting styles into a unified approach to good parenting.

If these parenting styles are not properly integrated, there are a variety of negative consequences that can occur in a family.

• Children may feel befuddled or conflicted as a result of Mom and Dad’s differing expectations.
• If parents appear so different, children might be more pulled to one parent or the other because of a certain parental affinity.
• Conflicts might lead to isolation or despair as they grow.

Make everything work

The key to success is to find the proper balance of the parenting methods. Balancing and mixing need considerable consideration and effort.

Negotiate. Parents who have opposing viewpoints must establish a common ground where they may both be comfortable with the strategy. A lot of communication, talking about differences, then working and compromising can help you discover the right mix.

Help each other out when it comes to parenting. Children are quick to figure out how to set one parent against the other and cause a schism between Mom and Dad. Try not to argue over parenting in front of the children. If one of you has to delegate authority to the other parent in a specific scenario, do so and then discuss it afterwards.

Respect the authority of the tougher parent. When parents have opposing viewpoints, determine ahead of time to give the more restricted parent the upper hand. Kids will try to influence you by going to the more accommodating parent first, which might be detrimental to healthy parenting. Choosing to stay with the parent who wants more structure and regulations will prevent future manipulation.

Come to an agreement on the main values. Different parenting methods work best when both parents aim to teach and reinforce the same ideals. Create a family mission statement that includes essential principles that your family believes in. Then, as you parent together, you will be able to be united on the issues that are important to you and identify the best way to get the values embraced in any given situation. The “greater good” will guide you to the best strategy.

If it isn’t functioning, get assistance. If you find yourselves in frequent disagreements about parenting techniques, you could try consulting with a family therapist, a church person, or a trusted friend who appears to be a successful parent. You could also think about taking a parenting class offered by your local school system or a parenting program to assist you better handle your family’s particular problems.

Working together to integrate your parenting styles requires a lot of effort and concentration. However, the beneficial influence on your children as you strive to be effective co-parents may be absolutely wonderful and well worth all of your efforts. Put your children first, realize that various parenting methods are not evil, just different, and communicate as a family, and you will find the entire parenting thing a lot more enjoyable.