Stop Doing These 32 Things to Your Kids Right Now

Stop Doing These 32 Things to Your Kids Right Now

by | Aug 27, 2021 | Parenting

The majority of parents aspire to be the best parents possible. However, some of their acts may be more harmful than beneficial. Now is the time to make some changes and get rid of some unhealthy habits. Here are 32 things you should not be doing right now.

 

Feeling as if you’re falling short?

Although it’s typical for parents to be critical of themselves, this mindset is unhelpful. Instead of berating oneself, see small mistakes as opportunities to grow and learn.

Recognize that some days will be better than others, and that making poor parenting decisions or having your children misbehave is perfectly normal.

Allow your children to see and learn from your errors. Demonstrating a development mindset in your own life is an excellent approach to educate children how to be resilient and persistent in their own lives.

 

Taking Care of Everything for Them

You may be doing your children a disservice by attempting to make their life simpler. Allowing youngsters to practice being independent is the greatest approach to raise independent children.

So what if the milk spills onto the counter instead of into the glass because you didn’t step in to assist? By doing things on their own, children may learn a lot. Allowing children to attempt new talents also tells them that you believe in them, which helps them gain confidence.

 

Ignoring Your Marriage

It’s easy to become so preoccupied with raising, caring for, and ensuring the happiness of your children that you overlook one of your most essential relationships—your marriage. Plan date evenings together, interact with each other every day, and spend time talking before going to bed to strengthen your relationship.

It’s also crucial for your children to witness you and your partner doing activities together. So, even if it’s simply sitting on the sofa and talking, make time for your partner on a regular basis. Make sure your children understand that this is a special time for you and that they should avoid interrupting you if at all possible. Your children must understand that your marriage is important to you.

 

Fights Over Minor Issues

You won’t be able to win every war, and you shouldn’t even try. Choose your fights as a parent carefully. Little things don’t truly matter. Allow your preschooler to wear a checkered shirt with polka dot leggings if that’s what they desire. Some things are simply not worth fighting about.

Plus, having a struggle over each and every choice is taxing. When you can, look for opportunities to say yes. When it’s time to say no, your kids will be more accepting of your decision.

 

Not Assigning Responsibilities

Many children have carefree lives with no obligations. That is a fantastic gift to give your child. However, it also implies that you are likely to shoulder all of the duties. It may also cause your youngster to become reckless as they grow older.

Assigning age-appropriate chores teaches your children the value of helping around the house.

Delegate some of your home duties to your children to give yourself a break. Teaching children essential life skills and assigning them duties is a crucial part of preparing them to become responsible adults in the future.

 

Putting Them on a Tight Schedule

We want our children to enjoy life, develop new skills, and have access to whatever they desire. However, this might lead to overscheduling. Avoid cramming sports, dancing, piano lessons, scouting, and other activities into their schedules all at once. Not only will you exhaust yourself, but overscheduling your children will deprive them of time to just be children.

Unstructured play, according to research, can benefit a child’s growth and well-being. When children are given the opportunity to play freely, they learn a great deal. They create games, establish rules, bargain with others, and de-stress.

 

Putting Your Needs on the Backburner

Unwittingly, parents frequently place themselves in the position of having to do everything for everyone else. However, this may be emotionally and physically exhausting, leading to irritation, frustration, and burnout. Making time for things you like and practicing self-care are essential. It’s not only good for you, but it’s also good for your family.

It’s beneficial for your children to watch you pursue your passions, take care of yourself, and schedule time with your friends. If you prioritize your personal needs as much as your family’s, you’ll be a healthier, happier parent and prevent burnout.

 

Technology Excessive Use

There’s no disputing that technology has grown ingrained in our daily routines. Everyone uses technology to get things done, whether it’s at job, school, or simply keeping in touch with family and friends. However, it’s critical to take some time away from technology to simply be with your loved ones.

Consider the last time you turned off your electronics to spend one-on-one time with your youngster. Consider establishing gadget-free periods and zones in your home to make it simpler to unplug. It may require a concentrated effort, but having some technology-free time together will benefit everyone in the long run.

 

Everywhere is in a rush

If you’re always urging your kids to hurry up, it might be time to take a step back and examine why. Rushing about indicates that either your calendar is overly full or that your family’s time management abilities need to be examined. Rushing about is another sign of disorder.

If this happens in the mornings before school, establish a morning routine for your family to help things go more smoothly. It’s also a good idea to make a homework plan so that everyone is on track with their obligations.

 

Trying to Stay Together 24 Hours a Day, 7 Days a Week

Parental guilt is a legitimate issue that happens to a lot of parents. Some parents even feel obligated to spend every waking second with their children. This is not only not humanly feasible, but it is also unhealthy.

Instead, try to spend quality time with your family, but remember to let your children to play alone or with their siblings. Time apart will not only help your children to grow autonomy and independence, but it will also relieve you of a load. Everyone requires some time alone.

You can’t be everything to your child at the same time. It’s critical that kids form connections and interactions with others as well.

 

They’re being spoiled

Most parents wish for their children to be happy all of the time, but this is an unreasonable expectation. This does not, however, prevent parents from attempting to help their children.

When this happens, parents unintentionally pamper their children. Material possessions are wonderful, but they do not provide long-term pleasure. You’ll be well on your way to raising a decent citizen if you teach your children to find delight in less tangible things.

Rather than caving in to your child’s whims or buying them everything they want, educate them how to be satisfied by helping others, working hard, and pursuing their dreams.

 

Overspending

Parents are under a lot of pressure to buy their children the most up-to-date clothing trends, video games, and gadgets. However, succumbing to the desire to buy everything at once generally wrecks the family budget. It also does nothing to teach children the value of deferred gratification.

Instead, educate them how to prepare for the items they desire as they become older, and give them a shopping budget to stick to. As children develop into young adults, teaching them money management skills will be beneficial.

 

Forgetting to Instill Gratitude in Children

If you’re like most parents, you’ve probably become fairly good at teaching your kids to say “please” and send thank you cards, but do they really understand what it means to be thankful? Check to see whether the words they’re saying aren’t empty.

One of your most essential responsibilities as a parent is to create appreciative children who appreciate everything and everyone around them. Being thankful enables children to see beyond their own self-interests and understand that they are not entitled to all of life’s blessings.

Teaching your child appreciation begins with instilling in them the understanding that nothing in life is guaranteed, therefore they should be grateful for all that is good in their lives.

 

Attempting to Imitate Other Parents

Parenthood has become a blood sport thanks to Facebook, the boasting mom next door, and the pressure we place on ourselves. Parents frequently compare themselves to others and think they fall short.

Imitating others may be damaging to you, and can even lead to parent shaming and judgemental attitudes, whether you’re attempting to fulfill others’ standards or lack confidence. Instead, concentrate on figuring out who you are as a parent and sticking to your goals. While learning from other parents is beneficial, it’s also critical to stay loyal to your own beliefs and aspirations.

 

Ignoring Unacceptable Conduct

When their children throw tantrums, behave disrespectfully, are disruptive, or fight with their siblings, it’s easy for parents to dismiss the issue behaviors and explain that it’s only a phase. They may even tell their children to hash out their differences with their siblings on their own.

While children must learn to handle problems and may be going through a period, it is equally critical to convey that some actions are not acceptable. Make an effort to turn these circumstances into educational opportunities.

Problem behaviors can be curtailed if they are addressed early and effectively before they become out of hand. Furthermore, there are some unhealthy habits that must be addressed before they become a significant problem. Ignoring some actions can be a disciplinary method, but it is not appropriate in all situations. In order to learn to act correctly, children require consistent instruction and supervision.

 

Important Conversations are glossed over

The themes of your discussions with your children may vary as they get older, but their value does not. However, it’s fairly unusual for people to overlook critical issues that are either on the horizon or now affecting them. It’s possible that hectic schedules will get in the way. Alternatively, you may be apprehensive about bringing up a serious subject and put it off.

Take a more proactive approach and talk to your children about key problems early and regularly, rather than waiting until there is a problem. This will make both of you feel more at ease. Talking to your children about sex, consent, and safe dating may make a big impact.

 

Having a Lack of Consistency in Your Discipline

Children are confused by inconsistent punishment, which makes it difficult for them to understand the important things you’re attempting to teach. Make a disciplinary plan for your children and stick to it.

While it’s vital to experiment with various discipline methods when things get old or don’t work, you should strive for consistency wherever possible. Your disciplinary approach will be undermined if you take away a privilege one week and then do nothing the following for the same offense.

Structure and a predictable environment are essential for children. Discipline difficulties may arise as a result of inconsistency.

Although it is difficult to continually addressing the same habits, allowing them to lapse will not help you accomplish your objectives. Maintain your focus on your long-term objectives and attempt to stick to the rules, incentives, and penalties as much as possible.

Allowing Bad Habits to Become Habitual

Parents often overlook habits such as chewing with their mouth open, picking their nose, or biting their nails. While it is true that some harmful behaviors can go away with time, you may need to work with your kid to break the habit, especially if it is having negative consequences.

Nail biting, for example, can result in diseased nails, while nose picking can result in nosebleeds (or teasing from peers). You work with your child on making a change to help them break their negative behaviors.

Inquire about how they plan to change their behavior and make recommendations for alternative behaviors. If your youngster is motivated, offer your support and encouragement, as well as prizes.

 

Failure to instill street smarts

It’s not enough to look both ways before crossing the street to be street savvy. Talk to your kids about staying safe whether riding their bikes, going to the mall, or hanging out with their pals.

Ascertain that they are aware of their surroundings and know what to do if a stranger approaches them. Make it a requirement that they travel with a buddy and keep you updated on their location.

They should emphasize that they should trust their intuition. If something doesn’t seem right or safe, it most often is. They’re most likely not exaggerating, and even if they are, who cares? It is preferable to be cautious than than take chances.

 

Allowing the Wrong Friends to Infiltrate

Every parent wants their children to meet new friends and mingle with their peers. If a buddy isn’t the right kind of influence for you, it’s time to step in.

Ascertain that your children understand what defines a good friendship and how to recognize false or poisonous connections. Knowing how to spot toxic relationships might spare your child a lot of grief in the future.

When you’re worried about your children’s pals, there are a variety of options depending on the severity of the problem. Obviously, the ideal solution is to discuss your worries with your children. You might also establish limitations and teach your children how to set their own boundaries.

 

Friendships are being forced upon them.

When you don’t like your children’s pals, you may find yourself imposing another child on your own child. You make plans for play dates, enroll them in the same activities, and nag your child to text them because you’re so excited about their friendship. If your child, on the other hand, is less passionate about friendship than you are, you should loosen up.

While it’s good to assist them in making friends, pushing your child into a connection with someone with whom they don’t connect will result in failure.

Allow your child to choose who they want to befriend and spend time with. It’s usually a good friendship as long as the person they select isn’t a bully or engages in peer pressure.

 

Blowing Up in Their Faces

A paper clip was pushed into the light switch by one of your kids. Another climbed into the cupboard and grabbed a bag of marshmallows. The final straw was when your child used baby lotion to give the dog a new hairstyle.

Parenting may be exasperating at times. But yelling at your children isn’t the solution. Stop shouting and discover a more effective approach to connect with them so that they will really pay attention to what you have to say.

 

Attempting to Raise Perfect Children

Let me let you in on a little secret: your kids aren’t perfect. There isn’t one, and that’s absolutely OK. Don’t get too caught up in the idea of raising ideal children. It’s not only impossible, but it might also be harmful to your children’s self-esteem.

Applying pressure to achieve or behave in a specific manner might drive children to become perfectionists, which can have a detrimental influence on their academic and social performance.

Expecting perfection from your children might devalue the effort they put forth. Instead of encouraging your children to strive for perfection, praise them for their efforts. It’s wonderful to obtain good outcomes, but the true learning happens on the way there.

Ignoring the Little Things

Slow down and cherish the simple things in your child’s life as much as you can. They’ll be a busy adolescent before you know it, and then they’ll be off to university.

Take a deep breath and enjoy seeing your toddler paint or your entire family work together to construct the largest fort. Remind yourself that creating family memories doesn’t require pricey vacations or fancy goods. Simple activities like preparing supper together, raking leaves in the fall, or playing cards on a rainy summer night may provide some of your finest memories.

 

Putting Pressure on Them to Eat

If you’re like most parents, you want your children to eat healthy meals and go to great lengths to offer them with nutritional options. But if your kids gag every time they bite into a green bean, there’s a high chance you won’t be able to alter their minds no matter how hard you try.

Rather than pushing them to consume things they dislike, introduce them to a variety of flavors and sensations without making them eat anything. Offer a variety of healthful options that you know they’ll appreciate, as well as others that aren’t as popular or as known. Forcing them to consume something they don’t like sets you up for a conflict that no one will win.

 

Everyone Else Is Accepted

You are a single individual. You can’t sew the costumes for the class play, coach each of your children’s sports teams three days a week, and make 300 cupcakes for the school bake sale in two days.

Don’t cave to guilt and help on your own terms. Instead of volunteering at your child’s school every week, do it once a month. Instead of becoming the team parent for all of your children every season, do it once a year. You just cannot say yes to everything, and it is critical that you set some boundaries for how frequently you participate.

 

Excessive Praise

Every parent believes that their children are wonderful, and we want them to know it. However, it is easy to go too far. Overpraise, in fact, can lead to narcissistic tendencies in children. It’s more beneficial to praise your children’s efforts (which they have control over) than their skills (which they don’t).

While it’s vital to boost your child’s self-esteem, make sure you praise them in a constructive and healthy way.

Rather than praising your child on their beauty, IQ, or athletic talents, acknowledge their hard work and attempts. If children believe that these items determine their value, it will be more difficult for them to cope with failures or changes.

 

Electronics Dependence

Babysitters can be found in the form of tablets and video games. It’s all too easy to rely on tablet time to get some alone time with the kids.

Do not rely on gadgets to entertain your children, as tempting as it may be. Set time restrictions for yourself and stick to them, as well as alternative hobbies such as board games and crafts that will provide you with a respite without relying on technology as a crutch.

 

Acting As If Failure Is A Bad Thing

It’s not unusual for parents to go to great lengths to ensure that their children never fail. In fact, some parents would practically compose their child’s book report or work on a science fair project till the early hours of the morning.

When this happens, it’s known as lawnmower parenting, since parents mowing down all of their child’s roadblocks. Allowing your children to experience the natural repercussions of their actions, choices, or inactions is, in fact, healthier.

Although failure is unpleasant and even frustrating, trust that if given the chance, your children would devise their own solution to the problem. Most importantly, your children will not want to experience that disappointment again, so they will take another step toward becoming responsible children.

 

Seeing the World Through Their Eyes

Remember how you aspired to be a world-class musician, tennis player, or actress when you were younger? Now that you have children, you may include them in all of those activities. However, our children’s interests are not always the same as ours.

Consider yourself fortunate if your children like all of the things you did when you were younger. But if they don’t—and it’s extremely unlikely—be prepared to back off so they may find and follow their own interests. Even if you have ambitions to coach your child’s minor league team, you must be prepared to let go of such ambitions if your youngster is uninterested in baseball.

 

Taking Care of Them Like Adults

Children aren’t grown-ups imprisoned in a child’s body. They’re youngsters that are always learning, growing, and attempting to comprehend their own emotions. They act like children and think like children. Treat your children like the children they are, rather than the grownups we mistake them for.

Make an effort to set realistic, age-appropriate goals for their activities and behaviors. When they reach adolescence, it’s especially tempting to treat them as grownups, yet even at this age, children are constantly learning and developing. Rather of attempting to be their buddy, concentrate on becoming their parent.

 

Making Comparisons Between Your Children and Others

Parents are prone to making comparisons between their children and others. However, it is unjust. It might make individuals feel bad about themselves if they don’t achieve the same level of achievement as others. It can also have a negative impact on their connections with the individuals you’re comparing them to.

Sibling comparisons, for example, can exacerbate sibling rivalry and even lead to bullying. Nobody likes to be compared to others, especially children who are still figuring out who they are.

Instead, focus on finding the beauty and individuality in each of your children rather than comparing them to others. You may assist your children develop self-confidence by letting them know what makes them unique.

Mentor Parent is an account of a parent’s journey. It shows the challenges that most parents have to deal with and also provides strategies to deal with these challenges which include helping children develop a love for reading books ,creating a safe and stimulating environment, learning the skills required to function independently, developing the right mindset, faith , taking up leadership roles and more .

How to Raise Happy Children for Life Success

How to Raise Happy Children for Life Success

by | Aug 14, 2021 | Parenting

Giving your children a pleasant, healthy upbringing can help them succeed later in life. However, many parents worry how they might raise happy children in today’s environment. Raising happy children isn’t about providing them with immediate joy or pleasure. In reality, it’s the polar opposite.

Happy kids have a skill set that permits them to be happy for the rest of their lives. They may forego immediate satisfaction in order to achieve their objectives. Adopting healthy, lifelong habits can assist your children in developing such talents. Here are some tips for raising happy children.


  1. Encourage children to play outside.

Don’t undervalue the importance of outdoor play. Children benefit from activities such as running on the grass, climbing trees, swinging on a swing, and digging in the soil.

Scents linked with nature, such as pine trees, cut grass, and lavender, have been shown to improve your child’s mood in studies. So, to offer your child an instant boost in happiness, encourage him to read a book outside or complete his homework on the porch.

Children’s social skills can also be improved through outdoor play. According to a 2017 research published in the Journal of Science and Medicine in Sport, children who spent more time outside playing improved their empathy, engagement, and self-control—all of which are important social skills.

Children who have stronger social skills are more likely to have happier relationships.

According to one research, children who have stronger social skills are twice as likely to attend college and are less likely to engage in substance misuse, obesity, or violence. As a result, make playing outside a daily habit. Encourage your children to ride their bikes, play with neighborhood kids, and run about in the big outdoors, even if the weather isn’t ideal.

 


  1. Time in front of the screen should be limited.

Your youngster may swear that playing video games for hours on end makes him happy. However, too much screen time is harmful to your child’s mental health. Adolescents who spent less time on their digital devices and more time on non-screen activities including sports, homework, religious services, and other in-person activities were happier, according to a 2018 study published in the journal Emotion.

 

Set explicit boundaries for your child’s screen time. Limit him access to his smartphone when you’re conducting family activities, in the car, or when he’s playing outside if he has one. Also, establish explicit limits on how much time he may spend watching television and using the computer.

 


  1. Gratitude should be practiced.

Incorporating appreciation into daily life may assist children in being happier and healthier individuals. Keep in mind, though, that there is a huge difference between forcing a “thank you” and truly meaning it.

According to a 2012 research on thankfulness, grateful individuals have stronger connections, which can lead to a happier life.

Modeling thankfulness is one of the most effective strategies to help children become truly appreciative.

When you are grateful for someone else, express your gratitude with honest gratitude. Thanking your children for their efforts will teach them to do the same.

Make it a family tradition to talk about what you’re thankful for. After the dinner table, identify three things for which you are grateful, or discuss your gratitude at bedtime. This will teach your children to search for things in their daily lives to be grateful for.

Make it a point to write thank you cards on a regular basis. Encourage your youngster to choose something particular he wishes to thank someone for rather than merely signing his name. You also don’t have to save thank-you cards for presents. You might urge your child to send a thank you message to his teacher for all of his support over the school year, or you could write a card to a particularly helpful coach.

 


  1. Set high, but reasonable, goals.

While preparing for an exam or playing a musical instrument isn’t pleasant, children who strive to achieve difficult things are more likely to live happy lives. Your expectations have a significant influence on your child’s willingness to take risks. As long as your expectations are realistic, your children will strive hard to satisfy them.

According to studies, children do better in school and persevere longer at difficult activities when their parents have high academic expectations for them.

Academic and social resilience are also connected to high expectations.

It’s vital to remember, though, that you shouldn’t anticipate perfection. Setting a high standard for your child will almost certainly backfire. Expecting your child to be flawless might put him or her at risk for mental health problems. If your child believes you have set the bar too high for her, she may give up on her objectives.

 


  1. Self-Control should be taught.

It’s possible that eating an extra cookie, skipping homework in favor of fun with friends, or binge-watching TV instead of performing chores would provide children with temporary pleasure. In the long term, however, a lack of self-control causes more harm than good.

People with stronger self-control report more positive emotions, according to a 2020 research published in the Journal of Personality. Researchers did find, however, that those with stronger self-control did not place themselves in as many enticing circumstances as others. They’ve basically set themselves up for happiness.

Begin teaching your child self-control at a young age. Teach her not to be surrounded by too many temptations at the same time. Put a basket in the kitchen for smartphones as one example of how you may help her with this. Tell your child to put her phone in the basket when she’s doing homework so she won’t be tempted to go online while she’s meant to be working.

Before bedtime, place all gadgets in a common area of the house. When your child is in bed, she won’t be tempted to use her iPad or phone.

Healthy food options should be kept in the refrigerator and cabinets. If you store sweet snacks throughout the house, make them harder to get to by putting them on high shelves or hiding them in the back of the pantry.

 

  1. Assign Chores

Now is not the time for your youngsters to enjoy clearing the table or cleaning the living room. However, allocating duties may be a significant component in achieving long-term pleasure. Giving kids chores when they were 3 and 4 years old was proven to be the best predictor of long-term performance in one research.

It’s possible that youngsters who help with housework feel more attached to their families because they feel like they’re contributing. And that sense of belonging might help kids stay psychologically strong in the face of adversity.

Children may learn a number of life skills via chores, including responsibility and community involvement. They may also discover that they can deal with tedious activities and that they can persevere even when frustrated.

Making their beds and cleaning the kitchen may also offer children a feeling of achievement and demonstrate that they are capable of making a difference, even if they are young.

Assign regular duties to your children and expect them to complete them. You’ll also assist them in developing life skills that will enable them to live better lives as adults.

 

  1. Eat Dinner Together

It’s tempting to grab food on the go and eat at different times when your kids have sports practices, games, and other extracurricular activities. However, eating as a family may be one of the finest things you can do to raise happy children.

According to one study, a higher frequency of family dinners was substantially linked to teenagers’ happy emotions.

According to another study, teenagers who have meals with their family had more optimistic outlooks on the future.

Family dinners may also be beneficial to one’s health. Obesity and eating problems are less common in children who dine with their parents. Teenagers who have supper with their parents are also less likely to struggle with substance addiction or behavioral difficulties.

Don’t worry if you can’t all get together for a family supper every night. Children benefit from dining alongside their parents a few times a week, according to most research.

 

  1. Avoid Overindulging Your Children

Buying your child a lot of things or giving him everything he wants for the holidays will not make him happy. In fact, overindulging children may have a negative impact on their mental health.

According to certain studies, children who have overindulged are more prone to have emotions of persistent dissatisfaction. They may be unable to distinguish between desires and necessities, leading them to believe that happiness is derived from worldly possessions.

So avoid the temptation to give your children whatever they desire. Despite their claims that possessing the most up-to-date smartphone, more designer apparel, and a better bicycle will make them happy, the research suggests otherwise.

Allow them to get privileges by earning them. When kids have to work hard for something rather than having it handed to them, they will appreciate it much more.

And place a greater emphasis on experiences rather than goods. People who are the happy spend their time and money making memories rather than acquiring more things, according to studies.

 

  1. Exercise together as a family

Exercise may make everyone in the family happier, whether you go for a nightly stroll as a family or perform fitness videos from the comfort of your own home.

The sort of exercise didn’t matter, according to a 2020 research published in the Journal of Happiness Studies. Aerobics, stretching and balancing exercises, and weight lifting are all good for making you happy.

However, you may believe that you don’t need to exercise with your child because he or she is likely to get enough exercise at recess or via sports activities. Exercise, on the other hand, is likely to make you happier, and happy parents tend to raise happier children. Getting physically active together may also help you bond and create happy memories, both of which are key elements in happiness.

 

  1. Assist Others

Altruism has been related to happiness in several research. Indeed, being kind to others may make your children happy, and happiness makes them more kind. It’s a win-win situation that puts people on the path to a better, healthier existence.

Participants were separated into three groups in a research published in The Journal of Social Psychology in 2019. One group was instructed to conduct a daily act of kindness, while another was instructed to try something new, and a third group was given no instructions.

Researchers discovered that individuals who committed acts of kindness and those who tried new things reported a significant increase in happiness after just 10 days. You may engage your children in altruistic behavior in a variety of ways. Here are a few suggestions:

  • Challenge everyone in the family to perform one act of kindness each day and share it with the rest of the family over dinner.
  • Choose a charity to support each year and volunteer together as a family for a couple of hours each week.
  • Set aside a portion of your child’s weekly allowance to contribute to a worthwhile cause, and let her choose where the money should go.

 

A Word From Parenting Through Mentorship

Remember that kids don’t have to be happy all of the time. They, too, require the experience of unpleasant emotions such as grief, rage, fear, and disappointment. ​

 

When your children are experiencing unpleasant feelings, there is no need to cheer them up or intervene. Instead, guide them through it and assist them in finding methods to relax and cope with their emotions.

 

If they aren’t happy every minute of the day, it isn’t a reflection on your parenting. It is not your responsibility to ensure the happiness of your children. Instead, it is your responsibility to teach your children how to regulate their emotions in a healthy manner.

 

Finally, providing a caring atmosphere for your children is the finest thing you can do to help them grow up happy. Even when faced with adversity, children who feel they are loved and cared for are more likely to flourish.

 

 

Inspire your kids to find purpose amid the noise

Bedtime Story for Champions is a collection of inspiring stories about young people who are doing amazing things and impacting the world. It is written to help parent teach life skills to their children using story telling.

HOW DO I RAISE MY CHILDREN? THERE ARE FOUR TYPES OF PARENTING

HOW DO I RAISE MY CHILDREN? THERE ARE FOUR TYPES OF PARENTING

by | Aug 11, 2021 | Parenting

One of the fascinating aspects of being a parent is the wide range of approaches we use to raise our children. At the same time, there are a lot of similarities between parents. Indeed, there is enough commonality among parents that academics have attempted to categorize them into four distinct parenting styles.

The mix of parenting methods you employ to raise your children is referred to as your parenting style. Diane Baumrind’s work in the 1960s established a widely accepted classification of parenting styles. There are four different Baumrind parenting styles, each with its own name and characteristics:

  • Authoritarian or Disciplinarian
  • Permissive or Indulgent
  • Uninvolved
  • Authoritative

Discipline, communication, nurturance, and expectations are all different aspects of each parenting style.

 

STYLES OF PARENTING: FOUR TYPES OF PARENTING

Parenting in an Authoritarian Mode

Discipline is typically associated with authoritarian parents.

  • They have a rigorous disciplinary approach with limited room for discussion. Punishment is a regular occurrence.
  • The majority of communication is one-way: from parent to child. The majority of the time, rules are not stated.
  • This type of parent is usually less nurturing.
  • Expectations are high, and there is little room for error.

 

Permissive Parenting

Permissive or indulgent parents let their children to do as they want with little or no guidance. They have more in common with friends than with parents.

  • Their approach to discipline is the polar opposite of rigorous. They contain little or no restrictions, allowing youngsters to solve issues on their own.
  • Although there is open communication, these parents prefer to let their children make their own decisions rather than giving them instructions.
  • This type of parent is usually warm and nurturing.
  • These parents’ expectations are usually low or non-existent.

 

Parenting Without Involvement

Parents who are uninvolved in their children’s lives offer them a lot of independence and typically keep out of their way. Some parents may choose to parent in this manner consciously, while others may be less engaged in parenting or unclear of what to do.

  • There is no specific disciplinary style used. Because of a lack of information or concern, an uninvolved parent lets a child do much of what he wants.
  • There is a lack of communication.
  • This set of parents isn’t particularly nurturing.
  • Children have little, if any, expectations.

 

Authoritative Parenting

Authoritative parents are fair and caring, and they have high, unambiguous expectations for their children. Children with this parenting style have a tendency to be self-disciplined and independent thinkers. Children are said to benefit the most from this technique.

  • Disciplinary regulations are discussed and the reasons for them are made apparent.
  • Communication is frequent and tailored to the child’s comprehension level.
  • Parents who are authoritative are nurturing.
  • Expectations and goals are lofty, but they are expressed plainly. Goals may include feedback from children.

 

WHAT IS MY TYPE OF PARENTING?

Few of us fit neatly into a single parenting style, preferring instead to raise our children in a mix of approaches. Instead of four different parenting styles, think of the four as a continuum. In an ideal world, we would think about our children and what they require from us at certain times. While a parent might not normally employ an authoritarian parenting style, there may be moments in a child’s life when it is necessary. Or, contrary to the previous definition, you may know an authoritarian parent who is nurturing.

 

THINGS THAT AFFECT HOW CHILDREN “TURN OUT”

While it is simpler for the family when both parents use the same parenting style, some studies indicates that having at least one authoritative parent is better for the kid than having two parents who use the same ineffective approach.

Of course, parenting style is only one factor that impacts who children become. These are only a few of the many additional factors that influence a child’s development:

  • The temperament of the child and how it “fits” with the parents.
  • The manner in which a teacher interacts with children, as well as the fit between teaching and parenting styles.
  • A child’s peer group has an impact.

Parenting techniques are getting new labels these days. Helicopter parenting, for example, is similar to authoritative parenting, but with a bit more engagement, or some could argue over-involvement, in a child’s life. “Free range parenting” is similar to uninvolved parenting, but it includes a purposeful decision to enable greater autonomous thinking in the child’s best interests.

It might be beneficial to consider where you fall on the parenting spectrum. Taking it a step further, realize that anybody, at any moment, with any parenting style, might benefit from the self-reflection that comes with taking a parenting class. It might be beneficial to talk with other parents and a facilitator.

HOW DO I RAISE MY CHILDREN THERE ARE FOUR TYPES OF PARENTING

EXTRA INFO ON PARENTING STYLES

  • We put a lot of pressure on ourselves as parents to do everything all of the time, every day. Exhausted? We’ve all been there.
  • Men now have more alternatives for reacting to their responsibilities as dads, spouses, or partners thanks to changes in parenting practices from previous generations. In today’s society, here are some suggestions for being an active and caring parent.
  • Slow parenting, or the deliberate effort to slow down and be present in each precious moment with your child, is becoming increasingly difficult in our increasingly hectic life.
  • While we can only do our best every day for our children, it doesn’t mean we don’t have our fair share of parental guilt from time to time.

Mentor Parent is an account of a parent’s journey. It shows the challenges that most parents have to deal with and also provides strategies to deal with these challenges which include helping children develop a love for reading books ,creating a safe and stimulating environment, learning the skills required to function independently, developing the right mindset, faith , taking up leadership roles and more .

14 strategies to get your child to read in preschool

14 strategies to get your child to read in preschool

by | Aug 7, 2021 | Parenting

When children love reading, it is simpler for them to improve their reading abilities. They put in more practice time and are more eager to take on reading difficulties. Use these suggestions to encourage your youngster to read and, ideally, develop a passion for it.

  1. Read it again and over.

Encourage your youngster to read literature he or she is familiar with. It’s acceptable if your youngster wants to borrow the same book from the library for the hundredth time. Rereading aids in the development of speed and accuracy. And this can assist children who learn and think differently gain confidence.

 

  1. Make reading a real experience.

Make a connection between what your child reads and what is going on in his or her life. Ask questions about when your child began to shoot hoops and how similar it was to the kids’ experience in the tale if you’re reading a basketball story.

 

Follow-up activities that bring stories to life may also be found. If the book mentions kites, have your youngster come up with some interesting kite-related activities, such as how to create one. These kinds of hands-on activities help keep students interested in the subject.

 

  1. Take a book with you when you leave the house.

If you know your child will be waiting in a doctor’s office, the DMV, or somewhere else, bring a kid-friendly book or magazine with you. Keeping your youngster busy with stories is a good idea. And the experience will demonstrate that reading can always be squeezed into your schedule.

 

  1. Learn more about the story.

Ask your kid questions about the characters’ ideas, actions, or feelings to help them interact with the story: “Why does Jack believe it’s a good idea to buy the magic beans?” “How does his mother react when she learns?” Encourage your kid to make a connection to the narrative via shared experiences.

 

  1. Make reading a part of your leisure time.

Avoid using television as a reward and reading as a punishment. Remind your youngster that there are other enjoyable ways to read than books. Also, set a positive example for your child by spending part of your leisure time reading rather than watching television, and then discussing why you loved it.

 

  1. Take it slowly.

Allow plenty of time for your kid to sound out a new word, and encourage his or her efforts. Mistakes should be viewed as opportunities for growth. Assume your youngster misreads the word “listen” as “list.” Reread the statement with your partner and see which word makes the most sense. Make a point of pointing out the parallels between the two terms, as well as the significance of paying attention to the last syllable.

 

  1. Choose novels that are appropriate for your age group.

Assist your youngster in finding novels that aren’t too difficult or too easy. When children read books at the appropriate level, they enjoy a better reading experience. You may double-check your selections by having your youngster read you a few pages. After that, ask questions regarding what you’ve just read. Try a new book if your kid has trouble reading the words or recounting the narrative.

 

  1. Take part in word games.

Play word games with your child to help them become more conscious of the sounds in words. “She sells seashells on the seaside,” for example, is a tongue twister. Sing songs with wordplay in them. Alternatively, you may change the letters in words to make new ones. (If you alter the first letter of map, it becomes nap or rap; if you change the last letter, it becomes man; and if you change the middle, it becomes mop.)

 

  1. Read aloud to one another.

During story time, take turns reading aloud. As your kid develops as a reader, you may progressively reduce your reading time and allow your child to take the lead more frequently. If you have smaller children as well, urge your older child to take on the role of reading to them.

 

  1. Draw attention to the connections between words.

When you get the opportunity, talk about language. Explain how words with similar spellings and meanings are connected. Demonstrate the relationship between a noun like knowledge and a verb like know. Point out how the words “wild” and “wilderness” have the same spelling but are pronounced differently.

 

  1. Make your books unique.

Children who struggle with reading may try to avoid it because it causes them anxiety or frustration. Make reading a reward to encourage pleasant thoughts about it. Get your youngster a library card or set aside some time for just the two of you to read. As a present or a reward, provide books.

 

  1. Incorporate creativity into your reading.

To play to your child’s strengths, switch up the reading exercises. Make a book with your child if he or she enjoys drawing or making things. To make a book, fold the paper and staple it together. Working together on each page, create phrases and have your kid add drawings or photos. Then read it aloud as a group.

 

  1. Allow your youngster to make his or her own decisions.

Nonfiction books are preferred by certain children. Some people are exclusively interested in fantasy or graphic books. Perhaps your youngster likes audiobooks or online reading. What matters is that you practice reading, no matter where or how you do it.

 

  1. Look for a book series.

Request recommendations from a librarian or a teacher about popular book series that your child might enjoy. Reading a series of novels allows children to become acquainted with the tone, characters, and themes of the story. This familiarity may make understanding the subsequent novels in the series simpler.

 

Get recommendations for novels that will appeal to hesitant readers. You may also look at our community’s favorite books. (Click to library)

Inspire your kids to find purpose amid the noise

Bedtime Story for Champions is a collection of inspiring stories about young people who are doing amazing things and impacting the world. It is written to help parent teach life skills to their children using story telling.

How can we assist children in developing flexible thinking skills

How can we assist children in developing flexible thinking skills

by | Aug 4, 2021 | Parenting

Flexible thinking is a talent that allows children to look at circumstances in fresh ways and come up with new answers. It comes naturally to certain children. Others, on the other hand, require assistance in developing flexible thinking.

Strategy and logic games can help children consider alternative approaches to solving issues and challenges. Encourage children to think aloud while playing. This allows them to perceive choices and tactics more clearly.

Also, try setting up new game rules. Begin with basic switches in games that youngsters are familiar with, such as Chutes and Ladders. Agree to slide down the ladders and walk up the chutes instead of going up the ladders and sliding down the chutes.

Jokes and wordplay might also help you think more creatively. Demonstrate that words can have several meanings. Reading stories like Amelia Bedelia, whose protagonist takes everything literally, is a good idea. When she is instructed to “draw the curtains,” for example, she draws a picture of them. Instead, inquire as to what she should have done.

What does inflexible thinking look like?

People who are rigid or inflexible thinking have a hard time recognizing alternatives or performing things in a different order. They frequently become fixated on a task or an idea. And they’re probably clueless as to why.

Here’s an example of how flexible thinking may cause problems:

  • Having a hard time embracing other people’s views
  • Continually arguing the same point
  • When others do not obey the rules, you become enraged.
  • Switching from one pastime to another is proving to be difficult.
  • When plans change, or when minor things go wrong, you may become nervous or upset.
  • Not adhering to new timetables
  • Having difficulty taking up new, more difficult tasks
  • Making the same errors again and over
  • Having a hard time coming up with jokes?

Investigate a day in the life of a youngster who has difficulty thinking in a flexible manner.

Next steps

Executive Function is a set of abilities that includes flexible thinking. Flexibility of thought is important in all forms of learning, including “unlearning” old habits.

At home and at school, there are several strategies to assist children in developing flexible thinking abilities. Families and teachers may collaborate and exchange ideas to help children discover new approaches to challenges.

Get tips for helping kids cope When individuals hold opposing viewpoints

Mentor Parent is an account of a parent’s journey. It shows the challenges that most parents have to deal with and also provides strategies to deal with these challenges which include helping children develop a love for reading books ,creating a safe and stimulating environment, learning the skills required to function independently, developing the right mindset, faith , taking up leadership roles and more .

When individuals hold opposing viewpoints: How can you assist your child adapt during this election season?

When individuals hold opposing viewpoints: How can you assist your child adapt during this election season?

by | Aug 2, 2021 | Social Skills Learning, Parenting

Some children (and adults) have difficulty accepting the viewpoints of others. They believe that they are always correct and that everyone else is incorrect. This is especially true for children who have difficulty thinking in a flexible manner.

People with flexible thinking may perceive things from a variety of perspectives. Children who struggle with it have a hard time comprehending that not everyone thinks the same way. And this might generate issues during election season, when kids hear people disagreeing and shouting at home, at school, on the news, or on social media.

“Kids who struggle with flexible thinking are frequently brilliant at debating, which demands them to take a position and keep it,” says Ellen Braaten, PhD, director of the Learning and Emotional Assessment Center. “Outside of debate club, this can make it difficult to deal with opposing viewpoints.”

Not all children like debating their points of view. When individuals disagree, though, they may become irritated. Even if someone quietly expresses a different viewpoint, they may mistakenly believe they are furious. Kids may be concerned that those who differ, especially family members, do not like or love one another.

So, how can you teach your child that people have various points of view and that it’s okay if they don’t always agree? These suggestions will help your kid cope.

Give context.

Kids don’t always understand the context of what they’re hearing or saying. It can assist in putting things into perspective. For instance, you may say something like:

  • “Did you know that in many communities, women, particularly women of color, earn far less than men?”
  • “Aunt Rose aided in the planning of a demonstration against racial injustice.”
  • “Uncle Steve recently lost his job and is concerned about the economy.”

 

Hear them out.

Children must be able to express their thoughts and feelings. They must, however, learn how to respectfully argue and discuss opposing viewpoints. “I hear what you’re saying,” you might tell your youngster, “but I have a different perspective that I’d want to share with you.”

It’s also crucial to pay attention. Your child’s anxieties might be reflected in his or her opinions. Right now, children may be thinking about a lot of “what ifs.” “What if I disagree with Dad and make him even more stressed?” Assist your kid in being aware of and discussing feelings and emotions.

 

Be a mentor.

Children might have a lot of empathy for a cause, but not for a buddy who doesn’t share their feelings. At home, demonstrate tolerance and understanding by demonstrating how you resolve disagreements: “I disagree with Uncle Fred, but I don’t want him to feel guilty for expressing his thoughts. That’s why I let him complete his sentence.”

 

Take a different path.

When youngsters believe their opinion is the only one that makes sense, saying “Let’s agree to disagree” doesn’t work. Instead, shift the conversation’s focus while reassuring them that you aren’t ignoring them.

“This has been a nice discussion, and I can tell you have strong feelings,” you can remark. Grandma has a distinct perspective on things. We may discuss it further at a later time. But for the time being, let’s do something we all enjoy.”

 

Explain that it’s fine to have a disagreement.

Children must understand that it is natural for people to hold opposing viewpoints. Disagreement does not necessarily imply that anything is incorrect.

 

“Aren’t there instances when you’ve gotten into a fight with me or one of your friends?” ask your youngster. Doesn’t that imply you don’t love or care about us? People can disagree, but it has no effect on how they feel for one another.”

Whether they wish to express themselves or avoid confrontation, there is one thing that all children should understand. Using harsh, disrespectful, or abusive words, or yelling, is never acceptable. It’s unethical if someone else does it, or if they do it themselves.

There are certain things you can do to assist your youngster understand events and issues from multiple perspectives. Try these activities (LINK TO BLOG A)  to improve your ability to think in a flexible manner. Also, ask your youngster to assist you in brainstorming alternative approaches to an issue you’re working on.

Mentor Parent is an account of a parent’s journey. It shows the challenges that most parents have to deal with and also provides strategies to deal with these challenges which include helping children develop a love for reading books ,creating a safe and stimulating environment, learning the skills required to function independently, developing the right mindset, faith , taking up leadership roles and more .