Stop Doing These 32 Things to Your Kids Right Now

The majority of parents aspire to be the best parents possible. However, some of their acts may be more harmful than beneficial. Now is the time to make some changes and get rid of some unhealthy habits. Here are 32 things you should not be doing right now.

 

Feeling as if you’re falling short?

Although it’s typical for parents to be critical of themselves, this mindset is unhelpful. Instead of berating oneself, see small mistakes as opportunities to grow and learn.

Recognize that some days will be better than others, and that making poor parenting decisions or having your children misbehave is perfectly normal.

Allow your children to see and learn from your errors. Demonstrating a development mindset in your own life is an excellent approach to educate children how to be resilient and persistent in their own lives.

 

Taking Care of Everything for Them

You may be doing your children a disservice by attempting to make their life simpler. Allowing youngsters to practice being independent is the greatest approach to raise independent children.

So what if the milk spills onto the counter instead of into the glass because you didn’t step in to assist? By doing things on their own, children may learn a lot. Allowing children to attempt new talents also tells them that you believe in them, which helps them gain confidence.

 

Ignoring Your Marriage

It’s easy to become so preoccupied with raising, caring for, and ensuring the happiness of your children that you overlook one of your most essential relationships—your marriage. Plan date evenings together, interact with each other every day, and spend time talking before going to bed to strengthen your relationship.

It’s also crucial for your children to witness you and your partner doing activities together. So, even if it’s simply sitting on the sofa and talking, make time for your partner on a regular basis. Make sure your children understand that this is a special time for you and that they should avoid interrupting you if at all possible. Your children must understand that your marriage is important to you.

 

Fights Over Minor Issues

You won’t be able to win every war, and you shouldn’t even try. Choose your fights as a parent carefully. Little things don’t truly matter. Allow your preschooler to wear a checkered shirt with polka dot leggings if that’s what they desire. Some things are simply not worth fighting about.

Plus, having a struggle over each and every choice is taxing. When you can, look for opportunities to say yes. When it’s time to say no, your kids will be more accepting of your decision.

 

Not Assigning Responsibilities

Many children have carefree lives with no obligations. That is a fantastic gift to give your child. However, it also implies that you are likely to shoulder all of the duties. It may also cause your youngster to become reckless as they grow older.

Assigning age-appropriate chores teaches your children the value of helping around the house.

Delegate some of your home duties to your children to give yourself a break. Teaching children essential life skills and assigning them duties is a crucial part of preparing them to become responsible adults in the future.

 

Putting Them on a Tight Schedule

We want our children to enjoy life, develop new skills, and have access to whatever they desire. However, this might lead to overscheduling. Avoid cramming sports, dancing, piano lessons, scouting, and other activities into their schedules all at once. Not only will you exhaust yourself, but overscheduling your children will deprive them of time to just be children.

Unstructured play, according to research, can benefit a child’s growth and well-being. When children are given the opportunity to play freely, they learn a great deal. They create games, establish rules, bargain with others, and de-stress.

 

Putting Your Needs on the Backburner

Unwittingly, parents frequently place themselves in the position of having to do everything for everyone else. However, this may be emotionally and physically exhausting, leading to irritation, frustration, and burnout. Making time for things you like and practicing self-care are essential. It’s not only good for you, but it’s also good for your family.

It’s beneficial for your children to watch you pursue your passions, take care of yourself, and schedule time with your friends. If you prioritize your personal needs as much as your family’s, you’ll be a healthier, happier parent and prevent burnout.

 

Technology Excessive Use

There’s no disputing that technology has grown ingrained in our daily routines. Everyone uses technology to get things done, whether it’s at job, school, or simply keeping in touch with family and friends. However, it’s critical to take some time away from technology to simply be with your loved ones.

Consider the last time you turned off your electronics to spend one-on-one time with your youngster. Consider establishing gadget-free periods and zones in your home to make it simpler to unplug. It may require a concentrated effort, but having some technology-free time together will benefit everyone in the long run.

 

Everywhere is in a rush

If you’re always urging your kids to hurry up, it might be time to take a step back and examine why. Rushing about indicates that either your calendar is overly full or that your family’s time management abilities need to be examined. Rushing about is another sign of disorder.

If this happens in the mornings before school, establish a morning routine for your family to help things go more smoothly. It’s also a good idea to make a homework plan so that everyone is on track with their obligations.

 

Trying to Stay Together 24 Hours a Day, 7 Days a Week

Parental guilt is a legitimate issue that happens to a lot of parents. Some parents even feel obligated to spend every waking second with their children. This is not only not humanly feasible, but it is also unhealthy.

Instead, try to spend quality time with your family, but remember to let your children to play alone or with their siblings. Time apart will not only help your children to grow autonomy and independence, but it will also relieve you of a load. Everyone requires some time alone.

You can’t be everything to your child at the same time. It’s critical that kids form connections and interactions with others as well.

 

They’re being spoiled

Most parents wish for their children to be happy all of the time, but this is an unreasonable expectation. This does not, however, prevent parents from attempting to help their children.

When this happens, parents unintentionally pamper their children. Material possessions are wonderful, but they do not provide long-term pleasure. You’ll be well on your way to raising a decent citizen if you teach your children to find delight in less tangible things.

Rather than caving in to your child’s whims or buying them everything they want, educate them how to be satisfied by helping others, working hard, and pursuing their dreams.

 

Overspending

Parents are under a lot of pressure to buy their children the most up-to-date clothing trends, video games, and gadgets. However, succumbing to the desire to buy everything at once generally wrecks the family budget. It also does nothing to teach children the value of deferred gratification.

Instead, educate them how to prepare for the items they desire as they become older, and give them a shopping budget to stick to. As children develop into young adults, teaching them money management skills will be beneficial.

 

Forgetting to Instill Gratitude in Children

If you’re like most parents, you’ve probably become fairly good at teaching your kids to say “please” and send thank you cards, but do they really understand what it means to be thankful? Check to see whether the words they’re saying aren’t empty.

One of your most essential responsibilities as a parent is to create appreciative children who appreciate everything and everyone around them. Being thankful enables children to see beyond their own self-interests and understand that they are not entitled to all of life’s blessings.

Teaching your child appreciation begins with instilling in them the understanding that nothing in life is guaranteed, therefore they should be grateful for all that is good in their lives.

 

Attempting to Imitate Other Parents

Parenthood has become a blood sport thanks to Facebook, the boasting mom next door, and the pressure we place on ourselves. Parents frequently compare themselves to others and think they fall short.

Imitating others may be damaging to you, and can even lead to parent shaming and judgemental attitudes, whether you’re attempting to fulfill others’ standards or lack confidence. Instead, concentrate on figuring out who you are as a parent and sticking to your goals. While learning from other parents is beneficial, it’s also critical to stay loyal to your own beliefs and aspirations.

 

Ignoring Unacceptable Conduct

When their children throw tantrums, behave disrespectfully, are disruptive, or fight with their siblings, it’s easy for parents to dismiss the issue behaviors and explain that it’s only a phase. They may even tell their children to hash out their differences with their siblings on their own.

While children must learn to handle problems and may be going through a period, it is equally critical to convey that some actions are not acceptable. Make an effort to turn these circumstances into educational opportunities.

Problem behaviors can be curtailed if they are addressed early and effectively before they become out of hand. Furthermore, there are some unhealthy habits that must be addressed before they become a significant problem. Ignoring some actions can be a disciplinary method, but it is not appropriate in all situations. In order to learn to act correctly, children require consistent instruction and supervision.

 

Important Conversations are glossed over

The themes of your discussions with your children may vary as they get older, but their value does not. However, it’s fairly unusual for people to overlook critical issues that are either on the horizon or now affecting them. It’s possible that hectic schedules will get in the way. Alternatively, you may be apprehensive about bringing up a serious subject and put it off.

Take a more proactive approach and talk to your children about key problems early and regularly, rather than waiting until there is a problem. This will make both of you feel more at ease. Talking to your children about sex, consent, and safe dating may make a big impact.

 

Having a Lack of Consistency in Your Discipline

Children are confused by inconsistent punishment, which makes it difficult for them to understand the important things you’re attempting to teach. Make a disciplinary plan for your children and stick to it.

While it’s vital to experiment with various discipline methods when things get old or don’t work, you should strive for consistency wherever possible. Your disciplinary approach will be undermined if you take away a privilege one week and then do nothing the following for the same offense.

Structure and a predictable environment are essential for children. Discipline difficulties may arise as a result of inconsistency.

Although it is difficult to continually addressing the same habits, allowing them to lapse will not help you accomplish your objectives. Maintain your focus on your long-term objectives and attempt to stick to the rules, incentives, and penalties as much as possible.

Allowing Bad Habits to Become Habitual

Parents often overlook habits such as chewing with their mouth open, picking their nose, or biting their nails. While it is true that some harmful behaviors can go away with time, you may need to work with your kid to break the habit, especially if it is having negative consequences.

Nail biting, for example, can result in diseased nails, while nose picking can result in nosebleeds (or teasing from peers). You work with your child on making a change to help them break their negative behaviors.

Inquire about how they plan to change their behavior and make recommendations for alternative behaviors. If your youngster is motivated, offer your support and encouragement, as well as prizes.

 

Failure to instill street smarts

It’s not enough to look both ways before crossing the street to be street savvy. Talk to your kids about staying safe whether riding their bikes, going to the mall, or hanging out with their pals.

Ascertain that they are aware of their surroundings and know what to do if a stranger approaches them. Make it a requirement that they travel with a buddy and keep you updated on their location.

They should emphasize that they should trust their intuition. If something doesn’t seem right or safe, it most often is. They’re most likely not exaggerating, and even if they are, who cares? It is preferable to be cautious than than take chances.

 

Allowing the Wrong Friends to Infiltrate

Every parent wants their children to meet new friends and mingle with their peers. If a buddy isn’t the right kind of influence for you, it’s time to step in.

Ascertain that your children understand what defines a good friendship and how to recognize false or poisonous connections. Knowing how to spot toxic relationships might spare your child a lot of grief in the future.

When you’re worried about your children’s pals, there are a variety of options depending on the severity of the problem. Obviously, the ideal solution is to discuss your worries with your children. You might also establish limitations and teach your children how to set their own boundaries.

 

Friendships are being forced upon them.

When you don’t like your children’s pals, you may find yourself imposing another child on your own child. You make plans for play dates, enroll them in the same activities, and nag your child to text them because you’re so excited about their friendship. If your child, on the other hand, is less passionate about friendship than you are, you should loosen up.

While it’s good to assist them in making friends, pushing your child into a connection with someone with whom they don’t connect will result in failure.

Allow your child to choose who they want to befriend and spend time with. It’s usually a good friendship as long as the person they select isn’t a bully or engages in peer pressure.

 

Blowing Up in Their Faces

A paper clip was pushed into the light switch by one of your kids. Another climbed into the cupboard and grabbed a bag of marshmallows. The final straw was when your child used baby lotion to give the dog a new hairstyle.

Parenting may be exasperating at times. But yelling at your children isn’t the solution. Stop shouting and discover a more effective approach to connect with them so that they will really pay attention to what you have to say.

 

Attempting to Raise Perfect Children

Let me let you in on a little secret: your kids aren’t perfect. There isn’t one, and that’s absolutely OK. Don’t get too caught up in the idea of raising ideal children. It’s not only impossible, but it might also be harmful to your children’s self-esteem.

Applying pressure to achieve or behave in a specific manner might drive children to become perfectionists, which can have a detrimental influence on their academic and social performance.

Expecting perfection from your children might devalue the effort they put forth. Instead of encouraging your children to strive for perfection, praise them for their efforts. It’s wonderful to obtain good outcomes, but the true learning happens on the way there.

Ignoring the Little Things

Slow down and cherish the simple things in your child’s life as much as you can. They’ll be a busy adolescent before you know it, and then they’ll be off to university.

Take a deep breath and enjoy seeing your toddler paint or your entire family work together to construct the largest fort. Remind yourself that creating family memories doesn’t require pricey vacations or fancy goods. Simple activities like preparing supper together, raking leaves in the fall, or playing cards on a rainy summer night may provide some of your finest memories.

 

Putting Pressure on Them to Eat

If you’re like most parents, you want your children to eat healthy meals and go to great lengths to offer them with nutritional options. But if your kids gag every time they bite into a green bean, there’s a high chance you won’t be able to alter their minds no matter how hard you try.

Rather than pushing them to consume things they dislike, introduce them to a variety of flavors and sensations without making them eat anything. Offer a variety of healthful options that you know they’ll appreciate, as well as others that aren’t as popular or as known. Forcing them to consume something they don’t like sets you up for a conflict that no one will win.

 

Everyone Else Is Accepted

You are a single individual. You can’t sew the costumes for the class play, coach each of your children’s sports teams three days a week, and make 300 cupcakes for the school bake sale in two days.

Don’t cave to guilt and help on your own terms. Instead of volunteering at your child’s school every week, do it once a month. Instead of becoming the team parent for all of your children every season, do it once a year. You just cannot say yes to everything, and it is critical that you set some boundaries for how frequently you participate.

 

Excessive Praise

Every parent believes that their children are wonderful, and we want them to know it. However, it is easy to go too far. Overpraise, in fact, can lead to narcissistic tendencies in children. It’s more beneficial to praise your children’s efforts (which they have control over) than their skills (which they don’t).

While it’s vital to boost your child’s self-esteem, make sure you praise them in a constructive and healthy way.

Rather than praising your child on their beauty, IQ, or athletic talents, acknowledge their hard work and attempts. If children believe that these items determine their value, it will be more difficult for them to cope with failures or changes.

 

Electronics Dependence

Babysitters can be found in the form of tablets and video games. It’s all too easy to rely on tablet time to get some alone time with the kids.

Do not rely on gadgets to entertain your children, as tempting as it may be. Set time restrictions for yourself and stick to them, as well as alternative hobbies such as board games and crafts that will provide you with a respite without relying on technology as a crutch.

 

Acting As If Failure Is A Bad Thing

It’s not unusual for parents to go to great lengths to ensure that their children never fail. In fact, some parents would practically compose their child’s book report or work on a science fair project till the early hours of the morning.

When this happens, it’s known as lawnmower parenting, since parents mowing down all of their child’s roadblocks. Allowing your children to experience the natural repercussions of their actions, choices, or inactions is, in fact, healthier.

Although failure is unpleasant and even frustrating, trust that if given the chance, your children would devise their own solution to the problem. Most importantly, your children will not want to experience that disappointment again, so they will take another step toward becoming responsible children.

 

Seeing the World Through Their Eyes

Remember how you aspired to be a world-class musician, tennis player, or actress when you were younger? Now that you have children, you may include them in all of those activities. However, our children’s interests are not always the same as ours.

Consider yourself fortunate if your children like all of the things you did when you were younger. But if they don’t—and it’s extremely unlikely—be prepared to back off so they may find and follow their own interests. Even if you have ambitions to coach your child’s minor league team, you must be prepared to let go of such ambitions if your youngster is uninterested in baseball.

 

Taking Care of Them Like Adults

Children aren’t grown-ups imprisoned in a child’s body. They’re youngsters that are always learning, growing, and attempting to comprehend their own emotions. They act like children and think like children. Treat your children like the children they are, rather than the grownups we mistake them for.

Make an effort to set realistic, age-appropriate goals for their activities and behaviors. When they reach adolescence, it’s especially tempting to treat them as grownups, yet even at this age, children are constantly learning and developing. Rather of attempting to be their buddy, concentrate on becoming their parent.

 

Making Comparisons Between Your Children and Others

Parents are prone to making comparisons between their children and others. However, it is unjust. It might make individuals feel bad about themselves if they don’t achieve the same level of achievement as others. It can also have a negative impact on their connections with the individuals you’re comparing them to.

Sibling comparisons, for example, can exacerbate sibling rivalry and even lead to bullying. Nobody likes to be compared to others, especially children who are still figuring out who they are.

Instead, focus on finding the beauty and individuality in each of your children rather than comparing them to others. You may assist your children develop self-confidence by letting them know what makes them unique.